My feudal lord was just an ordinary Any pakistani household story, with Only politics making it little special. Durrani showed, despite of her conservative and conventional barriers, by writing this book is deferential. While they were both married when they met, Mustafa Khar manipulated the situation enough to ensure Tehmina's divorce.

There are chapters on her survival after divorce when her children are taken away and there is no financial support for her too. Tehmina’s divorce, her first, and Khar’s plan to leave his heavily pregnant wife (his fifth) caused a shit storm, because in Pakistan all divorces are treated as worse than the possibility that a man might be abusing his wife. As much as I feel sorry for Tehmina, I am angry at her for being too quick to leave Anees but not leaving Khar earlier.He is a Barbarian who tries to mingle among the elites of society but always stands out because of his feudal heritage and rural upbringing. When Pakistan publishers balked at the controversial nature of her manuscript, she published it herself. And in a cavalier moment that truly showed the fast-food nature of upper class unions, and self-serving political rivalries in Pakistan, her former husband (Khar) accompanied her current husband (Shahbaz) on a plane on 10th Sept. Miss Durrani narrates about her life and that of her husband Mr Mustafa Khar's in Pakistan(who is uncle of Hina Rabbani Khar). What’s also very funny is the juxtaposition between the Mustafa Khar who is corrupt and uses his power to oppress those below him, and the Khar who gets the support of Zulfiqar Bhutto primarily because he is ‘a man of the country’, someone who has grown up within the feudal system and understands the fights of the downtrodden.

The good thing was, I had lots of friends on whom I could rely upon to provide me with smart insights. This, I think, was fascinating for me, because my reactions were purely class based: this must be the norm for all poor households, my privileged mind thought, but of course abuse is different in all its forms. Both, she as well as her 2nd husband come across as self-centred, self-consumed persons, and I daresay, they deserved each other. Not forgetting the fact that Adeela was only 14 and Mustafa Khar around 40 when their affair started and Ms. Does one judge a biography on how faithful to reality it is, or how comprehensive in containing the life under discussion?

Since the story is very overwhelmingly about a woman’s escape from her abusive marriage, I had imagined the abuser would be painted with a very harsh brush. But this book flips the switch by not even taking a more diplomatic, distant tone, but rather coming across as —there really is no other way to put this—begrudgingly admiring. Tehmina's story, adapted now for western readers, provides extraordinary insights into the vulnerable position of women caught in the complex web of Muslim society. As a woman and as a part of the same culture and society Miss Durani belongs to, I wasn’t a bit surprised by the physical and emotional abuse displayed by her husband or being discriminated on the basis of her dark complexion or looks.

Even in stories which so clearly try to explain how the man was abusive, basic sexism made it instinctive for them to question the woman’s actions instead of the man. His first wife, older than him and handed to him on the authority of his father, he ran off to the city to escape after impregnating. According to her, her father was encouraged by Bhutto to secretly transfer state assets from East Pakistan to West before the 1971 separation. This book is great if you are interested in Pakistani politics otherwise give it a miss, it really isn't worth it.The influence of Edhi spurred her into social work and inspired her to establish the 'Tehmina Durrani Foundation', with a mission to further Edhi's way of "humanitarianism", and his vision of Pakistan as a social welfare state. This very basic logic, that once you’ve suffered through something, you must be able to empathize better with those who are oppressed by the same rules, unfortunately doesn’t translate into real life.

Caught in the web of family drama and the prospect of social stigma Tehmina endured for a long while, but there comes a point when enough is enough! I think everyone should definitely read it once, and then engage in a long, healthy debate about all of the things that surround it. Like all women of her rank, she was expected to marry a prosperous Muslim from a respectable family, bear him many children, and lead a sheltered life of air-conditioned leisure. Horribly deluded, Tehmina always believed that Mustafa’s inability to hold a workable marriage all this while was because “he had not found the right woman” yet, but this was soon to be challenged. Hypocrisy, egoism, cruelty, nepotism, immorality, tyranny - these are the themes that dominate this book and its characters, the author included.When she realised her honour was in tatters and she was soiled goods, she pushed her lover to marry her. She went through a huge ordeal in life, the authenticity of which I DO NOT doubt, keeping in mind Mr. How can she believe in Mustafa's visions to do good as a politician where he is not even half a decent of a man or husband.